Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jen Lancaster is my hero... but you already knew that.

Hello, all!

I know I haven't written in a while (I'm sorry!), but educating the youth of America is a very time consuming task; thus, my blog has been resting warmly on the back burner for the past few months. All of that will change soon, though, as in 2 short days I will begin my much anticipated CHRISTMAS BREAK!! Until then, I leave you with Jen Lancasters blog entry from December 10 on She's hilarious, and no blog I could write about the whole Tiger Woods fiasco could hold a candle to her comedic genius. Click the link and Enjoy!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Winnie... and I ain't talkin' about the Pooh...

So, after much urging (see: griping) from my friends, I have once again decided to join the wide world o' blogging. It has been a while, and I can assure you that eversomuch has happened in my time away... so much that I may not even be able to contain all of the excitement that is my life into one blog post. I hope you're reading with bated breath, because this is going to be a wild ride...

For starters, I am now officially a resident of Winnie, Texas, U.S.A....... again. It is with little surprise that I proudly report that not much has changed in my 7 years away. Perhaps this is due to the fact that I have made frequent visits to my lovely hometown of rice and southern hospitality, or maybe it truly hasn't changed much at all; regardless, I am pleased to report that it is still the small, humid, flat utopia it has always been (give or take a fast food joint or 2, and with the added bonus of my friends and me being of legal age to finally get into Al-T's bar... for when you wanna go where everybody knows your name). All joking aside, it is truly great to be once again surrounded by the people I love and who, mostly, love me back.... and most of all to have the added comfort of knowing that, when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else will.

On another note, I had a minor surgery on my scalp a month or so ago when my dermatologist diagnosed me with the curse of the ginger kid: Basal Cell Carcinoma (cue the horror movie music). While I did feel some (but not much) anxiety over the whole ordeal, it was really more of a pain in my neck... err, head. Seriously, though, I had a terrible headache for about 3 days, and had to put this really thick, neosporin-esque junk on my head that made my hair look oily, forcing me to cover my head with a plethora of scarves and hats for roughly a week... or two. I know what you're thinking: "Wow, that sounds awful... I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Leigh!" Well, my friends, you haven't even heard the worst of it. The day of my surgery, as they were prepping me for the whole ordeal, (and after the nurse stabbed each of my 2 arms approximately 6 times with a needle while trying to find a vein for the I.V.... seriously) I heard the 4 words that would change my life forever: "Please remove all piercings." (because they had just created so many new ones in my already bruised and bleeding arms...) So, with much reluctance, and as I watched the past 7 years of my life whiz by, I removed my belly ring. It was a bittersweet moment and, while I could easily have replaced it after surgery, I have come to terms with the fact that I am now an adult (in theory) and it was probably time to remove it anyway. (Side note: My dad had absolutely NO complaints about the belly ring travesty, and is sitting pretty in the knowledge that I would never get it repierced based soley on the fact that the original piercing experience was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life). So, that's that.

I know I said I had a ridiculously exciting life to blog about, but that was just a prank I pulled on you because I really don't. I just love to draw people in to my blog with a really exciting cliff hanger, and then leave them with nothing. Just like The Hills, except less flesh colored facial hair and staring off into space. One really great thing to report, though, is that Chelsea and I went through Jason Gardner's Facebook today and "liked" everything on his wall all the way back to 2007. Yes, we think we're funny.... scratch "funny", replace with "hilarious".

That's about it, folks. Until next time...

Monday, April 27, 2009

"You think it's bad now? When I was young we had to worry about catching the flu from pigs..."- Me, circa 2050

I saw this someecard today, and couldn't resist posting. Sometimes I feel like the writers of someecards understand me in a way that no one else does. But, regarding the Swine Flu, first birds are carrying the flu, and now pigs!? Don't worry, I took the liberty of WebMD'ing Swine Flu (you can never be too careful, and I want to know immediately if I may have it), and it has the same symptoms as the regular flu... and, also, as allergies (and AIDS, but we won't go there). So, the good news is that you should be able to easily recognize the symptoms, and the bad news is that someone who is not as knowledgeable as, say, I am about the symptoms could easily mistake it for the regular flu or allergies (or AIDS), and then we're all screwed. If everyone would just, please, avoid contact with pigs for a while we may be ok... and, for goodness sake, wash your hands.

Moving onward--

I'm a little freaked out by the "Craigslist Killer". I realize that I do have an irrational fear of sexual predators (as if any fear of sexual predators could be irrational?), but seriously!? He seems so normal. This guy is exactly why I would never follow up on a Craigslist ad by myself. I mean, come on people, did you learn nothing from the "buddy system" in elementary school?! I choose to implement the buddy system daily in my adult life, and I have not yet become victim to a sexual predator/murderer (::knock on wood::).... so, just think about that when you're going to meet some Craigslist shadester at his creepy apartment at midnight-- even if you are getting a really good deal on a barely used desk from IKEA. Also, regarding his fiance, this just goes to show that, if you find random women's lingerie around the house, maybe cheating (or crossdressing?) isn't the first conclusion you should jump to... you may have a Craigslist Killer on your hands. Either way, get out while you can. ALSO, the "breaking news" this morning is that he was using Craigslist to have trysts with men!? His poor fiance. Other breaking news, as reported by the Today Show, is that the August wedding has been canceled. So, there's the good news on that. At least she found out before the "I do's".

Alright, kids, that's it for now. Have a super day in CyberSpace, and don't bother searching for me on MySpace because I deleted my account.


Friday, April 24, 2009

"Oh, Danny, is this the end?"

"Of course not, Sandy. It's only the beginning."- Grease

Good morning, guys and dolls!

Today has the potential to be a day of epic proportions. I will (maybe) make a huge change in my life, and will need the support of all of you, my faithful blog readers. Your prayers will be needed as I muster up the courage to take this huge step: Delete my MySpace.

Yes, you heard it here first, folks. My long time relationship with MySpace will soon come to an end. It was a wonderful ride for the past (approximately) 3 years but, as they say, all good things must come to an end, and I feel that this is also true as it pertains to social networking sites. (Don't be ridiculous or hasty, though, I will not be deleting Facebook any time soon. One step at a time, plus I'm not sure my Facebook love affair is quite ready to end.) While I have thoroughly enjoyed my time on MySpace (filling out surveys, perusing people's pictures, messaging old friends), I have found myself feeling less than fulfilled by Tom's cyber networking masterpiece, and worry that, if I don't delete soon, I may not have anything new to learn about my classmates at our 10 year reunion.

Now that you've been made aware of my huge (potential) life change today, I'm sure you understand the urgency for your prayers, and will be asking for the Lord to send me strength today as I mentally and physically prepare myself to click "Cancel". (FYI: The words "maybe" and "potential" in parenthesis indicate the fact that this may or may not happen today. This is a huge step and not something to be rushed.)

Thanks, and moving on.

For those of you who don't already know, I have been planning, for about the past 4ish months, to make the big move back to my roots. I will be saying goodbye to the lovely Austin, TX, and hello to the rice fields and marsh lands of my first love: Southeast Texas (Spindletop, anyone?). (Don't feel bad if you didn't know, as I wanted to keep things somewhat hush-hush until details were finalized and I was able to talk to my boss.) While I absolutely love Austin (who wouldn't!?), I have lived in this area for the past 7 years, and have grown increasingly homesick for my family and friends. The thought of being back has made me so excited for the past few months, that I almost forgot to think about the fact that I'm actually leaving... until Wednesday. My beautiful, wonderful Austin friends and I went out for Sally's birthday celebration, and reality set in. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic to be moving back, but I'm getting so very sad to be leaving the amazing friends I've met here. I have been blessed to have met some truly incredible friends in Austin but, luckily, all of them are Facebook users, as opposed to MySpace, so keeping in touch should not be tainted by my decision to delete MySpace. So, there's the silver lining!

All of that being said. You don't have to worry about me canceling my blog. (What a relief, right?) I will continue to post random ramblings about my life (and sometimes not), and the only change will be that, beginning mid-June, you should probably picture me in a more rural setting, rather than in downtown Austin. (Oh, Leslie, how I will miss randomly seeing you parading down 6th on my way home from work...)

That's all I have for now, blog readers. Have a super day in CyberSpace!

Oh, and I almost forgot!:

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SALLY!!!!!! I hope you have the most awesome day of your entire 23 years of life! Love you so much (even though you're from Oklahoma)! :)

*********UPDATE: I'm officially no longer a MySpacer. Thank you for your prayers.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Color Purple. Or, how to get my vote for Mayor.

Yesterday afternoon, while watching the Chicago Bulls and discussing the effectiveness of sweatbands with Sally and Matt, I was reminded of my younger days when one basketball player, donning purple and orange, dominated the inside of my 4th grade locker. This basketball player was none other than Charles Barkley. What possesses a girlie-girl of 10 years old to host an obsession with a large, sarcastic professional athlete? Even I'm baffled by the thought. I think it might have been because his team was purple? I mean, we have to keep our priorities straight while choosing favorite teams, and uniform design obviously tops the list (besides, orange basketballs did match his jersey, which is crucial in improving the aesthetic quality of a televised basketball game). Still reflecting on this obsession this morning (after nursing my still aching sunburn), I was prompted to do a little internet searching on my old basketball idol, and came across some very interesting quotes that I decided to share with cyber space. Clearly, my childhood obsession has just been validated:

"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."

"You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right."

"Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself."

"If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."

"I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove."

"I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."

So, there you have it. Justification for my 10 year old obsession with Charles Barkley. Remind me again, mom, why you encouraged this by buying me Charles Barkley/Phoenix Suns basketballs, and outfitting me in Phoenix Suns t-shirts??? Ok, who am I kidding? I still think he's pretty cool (in that whole bad boy, Dennis Rodman sort of way).

Moving on...

Let me just say that I l.o.v.e. driving down Mopac on my way to work and seeing signs campaigning for Brewster McCracken as Austin Mayor. I have always loved the fact that our current mayor's name is Will Wynn (who, might I add, knows the Thriller dance... awesome), but Brewster McCracken may just top that. I can almost hear his parents in the delivery room now: Mom: "What could we name our newborn baby boy that will sound equally as interesting as his last name??" Dad: "Hmm... We had a puppy named Brewster when I was little. Gosh, I miss that little guy." Mom: "PERFECT!" I know absolutely nothing about his policies or his platform but, I mean, it can't be too wrong to vote for someone on the basis of awesome name, right? His parents must have known he'd be a politician...

Ok, that's all I have for now. Peace out, y'all.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Dr. Leigh has red skin and speaks French... simultaneously.

Let me preface this by saying that I have no rhyme or reason for this blog.

Hi! How are ya? Happy Monday!

The first item of business on this sunny April 20th afternoon is WebMD (per Sally's request). Those of you who know me well may know that I have a slight addiction to this website o' medical genius. Not only has it helped me to diagnose myself with illnesses that I have, in fact, had (the flu, for example), it has also helped me to diagnose myself with illnesses that I do not have (diabetes being my most frequent diagnosis). I "had" diabetes last week, which is why Sally (who apparently thinks my addiction (obsession?) to WebMD is hilarious) suggested that I devote an entire blog to it. Misdiagnosis via WebMD is very easy because, as I've discovered on numerous occasions, many ailments have similar symptoms (who knew the flu had many of the same symptoms as AIDS!?). For instance, last week when I had diabetes, it turns out I was just hungry (with a bit of a sweet tooth) and/or thirsty... and my blurred vision could possibly have been caused by the fact that I'm supposed to wear glasses, but don't? Too bad all of those things are symptoms of diabetes... you understand my confusion??? Needless to say, you can all rest assured that I do not have Diabetes, ADD, Cancer, Meningitis, AIDS, Arthritis, or any of the other one million horrible diseases I've convinced myself that I have (based on the fact that I have a sore throat...).

Moving on...

I'm sunburned (or, more accurately, sunFRIED). Yes, it's true. I was outside at the pool yesterday, wearing sunblock (aka sunNOTblock), for approximately 2 hours, and I came out looking like a crawfish. (I would have said lobster, but wanted to stay true to my southeast Texas roots..) What makes it even worse, aside from the agonizing pain caused by merely breathing, is that my sunburn could easily be confused with some kind of skin problem, as it is blotchy (I'll WebMD it later to see if maybe I'm having some fatal allergic reaction to the sun or sunNOTblock...). I look like a red and white dalmation, and I do not like it. Also, my hand is swollen from said sunburn. Faaantastic. There are days when I love being a red head with pale skin, but this is not one of them. My skin hates me and, frankly, I hate it back. We're not on speaking terms right now.

On another note, I love-Love-LOVE La Madeleine. Oh, how I love La Madeleine. I went for lunch today and, aside from the terrible parking issue (Which is a problem all over Austin-- You'll be hearing from me soon, Mayor Wynn!), it was a truly delightful experience. Not only do they serve bread and jelly in an unlimited supply by the drink station, they have FRENCH LESSONS playing over the loud speaker in the bathrooms (or, more appropriately, toilette). I realized this today and it only intensified my love for this restaurant o' French bistro goodness. Yes, amazing. J'adore La Madeleine!

Ok, that's about all I have to say today, so we'll cut this off for now. Stay tuned, my faithful readers. Stay tuned.

Au revoir, cyber space!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Dans une nutshell...

As I was reading my friend Sarah's blog today, I noticed that she posted a list of random facts about herself. While I've already posted the "25 Random Facts" bulletin on Facebook, I still felt compelled to post again on here with no "25" rule (could be more.. could be less.. read on to find out). Also, my mom doesn't have Facebook, and I'm almost certain that she's the only person who checks my blog regularly; thus, this is the only place my mother, who already knows everything about me, will be able to read my "Random Facts". (Maybe you'll find some surprises, Mom!) So, since I know you're sitting with bated breath at the edge of your seat, let's get this show on the road:

1. I was constantly being fussed at in my high school classes for "doodling" while the teacher was talking. Everyone always thinks it means I'm not paying attention, but, really, I just have trouble focusing on one thing at a time.

2. I am a pretty laid back person as it pertains to most things, but I get extreme anxiety when I get lost. I once called my dad in tears because I was lost in San Marcos. When he asked what I saw around me, all I said (between sobs) was "Trees!". I still get stressed out just thinking about it.

3. When I was little, my parents had to take me to the emergency room for sticking a pebble up my nose. Yep, a pebble. What compelled me to do this? I still don't know.

4. In 3rd grade I wrote a paper for school on how I wanted to be just like Reba McIntire, and we sent it to her. She never wrote back. Rude!

5. I could watch ridiculous videos and read funny blogs online literally all day. I'm a sucker for anything that's even remotely funny. Even if it's not funny, but it's trying to be, I'll laugh. Because, I mean, what's more funny than something that's trying to be funny, but isn't?

6. The "That's what she said..." joke never gets old to me. Ever. I'm almost positive that I will still think it's funny 50 years from now.

7. After I finished with Drill Team my senior year in high school, I told my dad that the next time I ran it would be because someone was chasing me with a knife. And I was serious. Now, I love to run. Funny how things work out.

8. When I'm around my BFF, Chelsea, we immediately revert back to our 3rd grade selves, in that we act like 10 year olds. I like that about us.

9. I gauge whether or not a guy is "datable" on one question: "When my completely goofy side comes out (refer to #8), will I have to worry that he will break up with me?" Chelsea and I have had this discussion about every guy we've dated.

10. Believe it or not, I'm actually a shy person; although, I don't usually come across that way because I'm constantly giving myself pep talks when around people I don't know very well: "You're a rockstar! Everyone wants to meet you! Everything you have to say is interesting!"

11. I have a birthmark on my knee. When I was little, I thought it was shaped like the USA. It looks nothing like the USA.

12. I still squeal like a little school girl at the sight of the New Kids on the Block. I know this because I saw them last October. When I told my mom I was going to the concert, her response was "Ok, after the concert, can you finally move on?" The answer is "no". At age 25, I still haven't given up hope that Joe McIntyre is my soul mate. (or, more acurately, I haven't given up hope that he will realize that he's my soul mate.)

13. One of my favorite things in the world to do is sing and dance to show tunes with my mom- loudly, obnoxiously, and often. My dad and brother LOVE it and practically beg us to force them to join in. They don't have to say it, we can see it in their eyes.

14. I love talking to people who are just now reading Twilight. I feel like I'm in on a huge secret that they know nothing about. Then, they finish the 4th book, and it's not fun anymore.

15. I am the reason stores have sales. I could go into a store not planning to buy anything, and come out with hundreds of things I "saved money" on. Even I don't get the logic, but I fall for it every time.

16. One of my favorite parts of doing yoga with Lindsey is getting out of class and discussing all of the ridiculousness that takes place in those 60 minutes. Oh the things you see and hear in yoga class.

17. I get really excited when I'm driving down I-10 and can finally see Winnie. I always have. I'm one of those weirdos who actually loves her small town.

18. Writing is one of my favorite things to do. I get excited after formulating a really strong, great sentence.

19. I think I may have lived in ancient Egypt in a former life. Not to make assumptions, but I might have been Cleopatra- for many reasons: 1. I love cats 2. I have always loved ancient Egyptian history 3. I love to draw (cave paintings, duh!)

20. I have twin freckles on the inside of my right arm. When I bend my elbow, the two freckles come together like a perfect stamp. I bet all you dark skinned people out there wish you were a ginger kid so you could do that, too.

Ok, so, 20 seems like a good amount. Making that list is a lot harder than I thought! I don't have much else to say today, except that I'm in the process of making a lot of (exciting) changes in my life that have been in the works for several months, so stay tuned for updates! (See how I draw you in to my blog by leaving you hanging... it's like a commercial.)

Also, shout out to my beautiful friend, Jennifer Dean, who I met at church camp in 7th grade and have been best friends with ever since. She and her boyfriend (fiance), Troy, just got engaged. Yay, Jennifer and Troy! I can't wait to be a part of your very special day. :)

That's all for now. Have a great day in cyber space!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Blowing the dust off my blog.

Greetings! Welcome back to my blog!

I've decided that, regarding this whole blog thing, I'm putting way too much thought into the whole process. Who says that a blog has to be about exciting adventures, or that it even has to contain incredible insight? I never said that, so here we go...

So many things to say, and not enough space in which to say (type?) them..... or, is it so much space in which to type, but nothing of substance to say? I'm thinking the latter. Staying true to the "blog about nothing" theme I mentioned in a previous post, this blog will discuss the following: Snuggies, Octo-Mom, and Jen Lancaster. If you feel any real attachment to backward robes or single mothers of 14 children, then maybe don't proceed. I'd hate to offend my faithful readers. (P.S.- Can you tell I was a Ready Writer in my younger days? Clearly lining out the paragraph topics in my opening paragraph. Thank you, University Interscholastic League for giving me the ability to effectively organize a blog.)

Topic 1: The Snuggie
First off, let us discuss the commercial. We begin this riveting minute or so of ridiculousness with a woman literally struggling to cover herself with a blanket. I have one important thing to say about this little scene: Get a bigger blanket. Clearly she is using a blanket created to cover an infant. This could, perhaps, be why she cannot get it to stay on, or to cover her adult size body. Also, an infinite number of generations of men, women, and children have been using blankets throughout history. Have you ever once heard a complaint about how ineffective they are? Their sole purpose is to keep us warm. Mission accomplished! If my arms are still freezing whilst the rest of my body is warmly covered by my blanket, I will either put on a sweatshirt or TURN OFF THE AIR CONDITIONER. On another note, I do know several people who have invested in this backward robe, and it does make for some hilarious photos and discussions. Kudos to you, Snuggie, for being the life of every slumber party!

Topic 2: Octo-Mom
Where do I even begin? Clearly this woman is not mentally stable. What single woman, in her right mind, would WANT to give birth to a litter of children... much less 14 children she cannot support because she DOESN'T HAVE ANY SOURCE OF INCOME!?!? AND, what DOCTOR can, in good conscience, allow this catastrophe to happen in the first place!? What is wrong with people!? Phew, now that that's off my chest... It was recently brought to my attention that the "father"/possible donor of these 8 little swimmers is now stepping up to claim responsiblity (publicity?) for his donation. Maybe I'm heartless, but I think that, if I were him, I would probably try to stay under the radar on this one. You might just be dodging a bullet having her say that you're not the dad. Let her wallow in her own crazy, and you just maybe don't make any more "donations"... for the sake of our future generations. I leave you with this: Where is CPS???

Topic 3: Jen Lancaster (
I don't have much to say regarding this topic, except that she is AWESOME... and hilarious. And that I'm pretty sure we're destined to be BFF... if I could only meet her. And that I'm super excited that my friend Julie said that she pictures Jen Lancaster as being a lot like me. That being said, google her for many laughs. (Sorry for the excessive usage of "said", or any variation of the word... also sorry for starting 2 sentences with "And". I know you're not supposed to, but sometimes it just works so well.)

Welp, CyberSpace, this is all for now. I will cheese this blog up a bit and leave you with a quote that I feel describes one reason why my parents are, in a word, AWESOME, and which will give you a little insight as to why I must have done something really incredible in a previous life to have been born into my family. Take it away Kate Winslet:

“Mum and dad were very much friends, and up to life. There was no anxiety for anything when I was growing up. They just taught me to be me."

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Random, Red-headed Ramblings. Or, A Blog Titled Using Alliteration.

So, apparently my life is a lot more boring than I originally thought, because I have found that I have absolutely nothing to blog about. From this point on, think of my blog as something like Seinfeld. Instead of a "show about nothing", it's a "blog about nothing". Or a coffee table book about coffee tables? You get my drift.

That being said, Jason graduated from college! YAY! 2 kudos for Jason! If you know of any available jobs, let him know.... because, obviously, he's looking.

Moving right along, Happy 2009! Aaaand, that's pretty much all I have to say about that.

Now, for those of you who don't know, I have a big birthday coming up on Sunday. The big 2-5. This is the first birthday which actually makes me feel like an adult. It's also the first birthday that I'm not all that excited about. But, alas, what do you do? As the eloquent country singer, Tracy Lawrence, says, "Time marches on..."-- or something like that. (No, I did not know that off the top of my head. Yes, I Googled who sings "Time Marches On"... although I did see Tracy Lawrence at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo one year.)

Well, folks, that's all I have to say right now. Except that I am going to try to update this more often, as several of my friends keep pushing me to do so.

Have a great day in cyber-space.