Yesterday afternoon, while watching the Chicago Bulls and discussing the effectiveness of sweatbands with Sally and Matt, I was reminded of my younger days when one basketball player, donning purple and orange, dominated the inside of my 4th grade locker. This basketball player was none other than Charles Barkley. What possesses a girlie-girl of 10 years old to host an obsession with a large, sarcastic professional athlete? Even I'm baffled by the thought. I think it might have been because his team was purple? I mean, we have to keep our priorities straight while choosing favorite teams, and uniform design obviously tops the list (besides, orange basketballs did match his jersey, which is crucial in improving the aesthetic quality of a televised basketball game). Still reflecting on this obsession this morning (after nursing my still aching sunburn), I was prompted to do a little internet searching on my old basketball idol, and came across some very interesting quotes that I decided to share with cyber space. Clearly, my childhood obsession has just been validated:
"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."
"You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right."
"Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself."
"If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."
"I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove."
"I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."
So, there you have it. Justification for my 10 year old obsession with Charles Barkley. Remind me again, mom, why you encouraged this by buying me Charles Barkley/Phoenix Suns basketballs, and outfitting me in Phoenix Suns t-shirts??? Ok, who am I kidding? I still think he's pretty cool (in that whole bad boy, Dennis Rodman sort of way).
Moving on...
Let me just say that I l.o.v.e. driving down Mopac on my way to work and seeing signs campaigning for Brewster McCracken as Austin Mayor. I have always loved the fact that our current mayor's name is Will Wynn (who, might I add, knows the Thriller dance... awesome), but Brewster McCracken may just top that. I can almost hear his parents in the delivery room now: Mom: "What could we name our newborn baby boy that will sound equally as interesting as his last name??" Dad: "Hmm... We had a puppy named Brewster when I was little. Gosh, I miss that little guy." Mom: "PERFECT!" I know absolutely nothing about his policies or his platform but, I mean, it can't be too wrong to vote for someone on the basis of awesome name, right? His parents must have known he'd be a politician...
Ok, that's all I have for now. Peace out, y'all.
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5 comments:
I love how the title of your newest entry is very Jenn Lancaster-esque.
Also, I think there was some kind of genius marketing going on in the early 90's that made people l.o.v.e professional basketball. I, the least athletic person in the world, was pretty much convinced that I would go pro one day, and even bought a biography on Shaq at a Book Fair.
Barkley was also a Houston Rocket...for one season. AND he gets arrested while speeding for a BJ. Weird guy.
the color purple is my favorite and that's the only reason i read this blog - i feel i was mislead by the title yet again.
You shut your dadgum mouth, Catrina. You love my blog and you know it.
Leigh I love you, you are freaking hilarious. I literally laughed out loud on several occasions!! I am writing some of those Barkley quotes in my quote book, they are CLASSIC!!! LOL
And I think I need to see a pic of you in the infamous yellow and purple jersey!! :) PLEASE
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